Supporting a Loved One When Death is Near
Compassion, Comfort, and Support — Guiding You Through Life’s Final Moments.
Providing Comfort in the Final Days
As your loved one nears the end of life, their body will naturally begin to shut down. Each person’s experience is unique, and changes may happen in any order. This guide helps you understand common changes and how you can offer comfort and support during this time.
CHANGES YOU MAY NOTICE AND HOW TO HELP
Increased Sleep & Fatigue
Your loved one may sleep more and have less energy for conversations or activities.
Sit with them for comfort, speaking softly and naturally.
Engage in soothing activities like reading, playing music, sharing memories, or praying.
Ask a healthcare provider about repositioning them for comfort and to prevent sores.
Skin Changes
Arms, legs, and the underside of the body may become cool or change color due to circulation changes.
Adjust blankets or use a fan to maintain comfort.
If they feel cold, use extra blankets. If they seem warm, a light sheet may be enough.
Swallowing, Eating & Drinking
Swallowing may become slower, and your loved one may eat and drink less; a dying person is often not hungry or thirsty
Offer small sips of water, ice chips, or frozen juice pops if they can swallow.
Keep their mouth and lips moist using mouth swabs or a gentle moisturizer.
Feeding may not provide strength at this stage. Comfort through touch and presence instead.
Changes in Bathroom Habits
Less food and drink will result in less urine and stool, and they may lose control.
Keep their skin clean and dry to prevent discomfort and irritation.
A nurse may recommend protective pads or a catheter if needed.
Breathing Changes & Congestion
Breathing patterns may change, with pauses, deep breaths, or gurgling sounds.
Raise the head of the bed or turn them on their side for comfort.
Hold their hand and speak softly.
If secretions become excessive, medication may help.
Restlessness & Confusion
Your loved one may pull at sheets, appear confused, or say things that don’t make sense.
Stay calm and create a soothing environment with dim lighting and soft music.
Avoid restraining them. If restlessness seems related to pain or discomfort, speak with a healthcare provider, medications can help.
SAYING GOODBYE
This is a deeply personal time. You may want to:
Express love and gratitude.
Offer gentle touch, hold hands, or share a final moment of connection.
Invite a spiritual leader if meaningful to your loved one.
Limit visitors if preferred.
There are no right or wrong ways to say goodbye—only what feels right for you and your family.
THE MOMENT OF DEATH
Even when expected, the moment of passing can be overwhelming.
Their breathing and heartbeat will stop.
Muscles will relax, sometimes causing the mouth or eyes to remain open.
The body will remain warm for a short time—you may stay with them as long as needed.
Seek support from loved ones, and let the nurse know when you’re ready for the next steps.
